June 10, 2010

Sexting List: "of places we still need to fornicate this summer," Part One: 1-60

This was sent as a series of dozens of text messages to my girl earlier today. Spaces demarcate a new text - - It followed a reference to a lyric in R. Kelly's song "Echo", "Sex in the morning / Sex all day," as an attempt at oneupmanship. She supplied the artwork.

List of places we still need to fornicate this summer:

1) Your car,
2) A barn
3) In a forest,
4) Abattoir,
5) Outer space,
6) Prison,
7) Underground,
8) Zeppelin,

9) Top of a skyscraper,
10) Madhouse,
11) Cheap motel in New Mexico,
12) The White House,
13) Mel Gibson's backyard,

[At this point, she texts me "i'm peeing my trousers"]

14) Macy's,
15) JC Penny's,
16) A radio station,
17) High up in a redwood tree,
18) Cave,
19) Desert,

20) Your boss's bed,

21) My boss's bed,

22) On the internet,
23) In cyberspace.
24) Online,
25) Sexting,
26) The moon,
27) Uranus,
28) Middle ages,
29) The Renaissance,
30) The Enlightenment,

31) The future,

[At this point, she texts me "ooooh! cue julia child squeal"]

32) In Julia Child's kitchen

33) In the beginning,
34) In media res,
35) Happily ever after,

36) On the battlefield of love,

[She contributed the next six]
37) On the lincoln memorial,
38) On the pieta,
39) On tour,
40) On a boat,
41) On a plastic bag island,
42) On mel gibsons chopper parked in his backyard,

[At this point, I text back "Mmm, yes please"]

43) Kurdistan

44) Boys' locker room,
44) The arctic,
45) The antarctic,
46) The anti-antarctic,

47) On the Disneyland tea-cup ride,
48) In animal costumes,
49) In sports mascot costumes,
50) In Mel Gibson's hovercraft,
51) On a desert island,

53) On a dessert island,

54) In a museum at night,
54) In a museum at noon,
55) At the beach at high tide,
56) At the beach at low tide,
57) Invisible,
58) In the road,

59) In a subway tunnel,
60) In a Subway restaurant,

To be continued...

1 comment:

Brains said...

So we're going to Disneyland?