May 12, 2009

Mays Days Politics Quotes: American Umami

Some of these quotes are old news, but they have a lingering aftertaste on my umami. (As a sidenote, my older brother has worked as a professional taster & brewmaster for a major brewery, & he does not believe in umami. So could umami be like the Quintessence of the tongue? Coming soon, a Special Report: Umami: Liberal Hoax or Fulfillment of our Full Seraphic Flavor Potential?)

Firstly, I love the logic in this quote from The Washington Examiner's Chief Political Correspondent Byron York:

[Obama's] sky-high ratings among African-Americans make some of his positions appear a bit more popular overall than they actually are.
Black opinions are like the umami on the taste-buds of American sentiment: imaginary, but somehow ineffably influential to the National Relish.

Second, do you remember when New York Times editorialist Maureen Dowd asked George Lucas if she was being unfair by likening Dick Cheney to Darth Vader for so many years. He responded that she had got the analogy wrong, that "You know, Darth Vader is really a kid from the desert planet near Crawford, and the true evil of the universe is the emperor who pulls all the strings". Dowd was surprised that "Dick Cheney was more evil than Darth Vader. I hadn’t been hard enough on Vice!" I love that comparing our quasi-Democratically-elected former-VP to evil villains is still relevant, especially now that he's come out from his undisclosed location, & the journalists are arguing about which baddie he better resembles. David Edelstein in the New York Magazine spent 688 words pondering the issue, & fairly concluded:
For my money, Cheney is [Emperor] Palpatine with a soup├žon of Sauron, a pinch of Voldemort, a dash of Mabuse, a jigger of Fu [Manchu], with some Elmer Fudd and Richard Nixon folded in.
Delicious. Now there is Dijongate. Jon Stewart was mocking the way the cable news spent countless minutes watching Obama & Biden order burgers at lunch. But the right-wing talk show response to what Obama ordered was far more entertaining.
I don't even like the way the man orders a hamburger. You're listening to The Laura Ingraham Show. What kind of man orders a cheeseburger without ketchup but Dijon mustard? See, he was trying to do this whole thing with Biden -- "We're like the regular people, we're like every other guy, you know, with our -- on our lunch break, we're going to go grab a burger, two guys, two bros." No....Well, we're gonna -- we're two bros hanging out together all right, man? How was your day? I love you, man. I love you. The guy orders a cheeseburger without ketchup? What is that?
-Laura Ingraham, on her radio show called The Laura Ingraham Show.

Now, the Gateway Pundit blog pointed out that plain old ketchup, well, it didn't quite cut it for the president. Now take a look at him ordering his burger with a very special condiment... All right, I hope you enjoyed that fancy burger, Mr. President.
-Sean Hannity, on his tv show called Hannity

He eats a hamburger with Dijon mustard -- Dijon mustard. John Kerry couldn't get away with that stuff, but he makes it seem like just like a regular thing to do. Now there's -- I see that some of the left-wing commentators are saying, "Why are people making a fuss about the Dijon mustard?" but that's just an example of the way Obama is able to enlighten us.
-Mark Steyn, from outer space.
And the left-wing blogospheric responding to the right-wing response:
Grey Poupon is owned and manufactured by Kraft Foods. It is the processed cheese of mustards. It is the fucking Velveeta of faux-French products. Can we all shut the fuck up?
-The Awl, May 7, 2009.
I was trying to think of something clever to write combining umami, the uniform American consensus on hamburger sauces, & freedom fries, but I think those quotes speak for themselves. Lastly, I thought the funniest moment in the White House Correspondents Association Dinner wasn't anything Wanda Sykes said, but the president's shout-out to the RNC Chairman Michael "Urban-Suburban Hip-Hop" Steele:
Michael Steele is in the house tonight. Or as he would say, 'in da heezy.' ... Whasup?

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