February 04, 2009

Come Together Over Beards

In the midst of all this beardery, I recalled something and wrote to a friend:

Dearest Douglas,

I recall a gentle evening. You phoned me in my room. We registered our beards. Someone registered in the 1/3 second that transpired between your registering and my registering. Do you recall your number? Two Hundred Something, I think. I went all the way back to the website of the National Beard Registry. It is different now. Our old hang outs are gone. I didn't recognize anyone. I could not determine how to search for my rightful place in beard registered history. What is more, one must "donate" in order to register. I am lost in this free market of beards. Won't you throw me a rope?

Always Sincerely,
Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Golden

He, in his infinite wisdom, composed this letter of inquiry:

Dear Registrar,

My friend Liam Golden and I signed up for the National Beard Registry back in the old days (at least 5 years ago). Since then our lives have taken many turns. I went on to focus primarily on nipple hair and earned a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.


Yes, I am that Doug Williams.

Liam has been through many periods himself. For a while his interests veered into the world of the lonely mustache but he is back from the brink.

I am writing to you because we've recently decided to come back into the fold over at the beard registry but we found that, much like us, the site has undergone changes. We can no longer find our names or beards on the new site. It appears that a donation is now required as well. We find ourselves with more questions than answers.

Is this the same beard registry of our youth?

Is it still welcoming and inclusive or has it become jaded and exclusive?

Is there still a place for us at the registry?

We look forward to hearing back from you. Thank you for your service.

and Liam

Doug Williams

I will keep everyone informed. In the meantime visit www.dougisfamous.com.

1 comment:

ß. Andrigon said...

Is the list still up?