August 26, 2008

Invitation to a Witnessing

Text messages sent during Monday Night's Democratic Convention:

775-___-7385 to 617-___-0475:
"Jim Leach sounds like a muppet."

617-___-0475 to 775-___-7385:
"liam will witness mimosas with you.we said the same things about leach.esp!esp!"

Apparently many people thought that about the former Republican Congressman, judging by the comments on You-Tubes.

The non sequitur about witnessing mimosas was a mysterious round-about RSVP from Morocco via Brooklyn to the following invitation:

from"James Henry Welsch"
to"Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Golden"
dateSun, Aug 24, 2008 at 1:55 PM
subjectExcuse Yourself

Dearest Liam Joe-Moe,

Well, looks like you'll be here in exactly a week from today.
Ha-hum! You still a-gettin' on that train?
Not carried away by hippie lepers to Tunisia? I can only assume.
I am slightly saddened you'll be in this region so briefly, but the things we love upon this world come & go fastly.

And here!

I would like to formally invite you TO.
A Very Special Pre-Labor Day Edition of the Mimosas Witnesses,
On SUNDAY, the 31st of August,

Attendees in full:
-James Henry Hassan Dragon Welsch
-Jenny Ruth Crawford-Seeger

-Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Mary/Mohammad Golden (hopefully)

-Jane "Big Mama" R_____ (Mother of Jenny Ruth)
-Elizabeth H____ (Friend of Jane R______)
-Eco Location (Canine)
Brunch will start earlier than usual, approximately 10:00am. In order to assure making it here on time with the Moroccan time change & the difficulties of traveling in the morning, it may be possible for you to spend the night here Saturday - however I will be working until about 9pm, & Jenny Ruth informs me that she doesn't want to "party" before her mom comes over. The general theme of this Mimosas Witnesses Brunch is TO have mimosas & brunch with Jenny's mother, & include you, because all of the people listed above are genial & have rich senses of humor & MANY entertaining anecdotes. You specifically requested to me to, during the week you're in town, have parties with WOMEN PRESENT.

Please RSVP.

I will always love you, Dolly Parton,

General George S. Parton


Date: Monday, August 25, 2008 1:23 PM
To: "Jenny C_____"
Subject: General George S Parton

Hey Jen-

Thank you for sending us this very incredible invitation. I forwarded it to E. We need to know the dress code for such a formal affair. Moroccan?

One correction:
I would prefer to be known as Medium-Size Mama in all future invitations.

Is there any contribution that we should bring?

E wants to do any type of shopping, basically just experience SF. And we're not gonna rush back that evening.


1 comment:

ß. Andrigon said...

I take it back. When was witnessing mimosas ever a non sequitur?