May 31, 2008

End-of-May Public House Weblog Quiz

Ah, May, when every lusty heart, that is in any manner a lover, springeth and flourisheth in lusty deeds. Sharpen your intellect, loyal readers, warm up your printers, & test yourselves & your friends with the End-of-May Public House Blog Quiz. Turn off all mobile phones & your wikipedias!

1) According to Islamic Shia, why is there a fatwa against Coca-Cola?
a) There is a hadith that reads, "
If a big quantity of anything causes drunkenness, its small quantity is also forbidden". This includes caffeine & unhealthy beverages in general.
b) Coca-cola has never publicly published its recipe - (once a recipe is copyrighted, the copyright can eventually expire). Because the bigwigs in Islamic Law can't know for certain what is in the "natural & artificial flavors", for all they know it could be pig or shellfish & other creepy non-Haram biproducts.
c) In the United States, the Coca-Cola Corporation is the only one legally allowed to import Erythroxylum coca, which it uses to this day as a flavor additive. Coca leaves are, of course, definitely not halal.

2) Why is a raven like a writing desk?
a) I haven't the slightest idea.
b) because the notes for which they are noted are not noted for being musical notes.
c) because there is a 'b' in both.

3) Which two countries will be added to new globes in 2009?
a) Flanders & Wallonia
b) East Timor & Montenegro
c) Texas & The Autonomous Region of Schwarzeneggeria
d) Kosovo & Kurdistan

4) In the early 1970s, when Washoe the Chimpanzee started communicating in American Sign Language, whose theories did it undermine & invalidate?
a) Renee Descartes, who taught that animals are unfeeling machines who act only according to instinct.
b) Charles Darwin, who wrote that human language evolved from simpler forms in a common primate ancestor.
c) Noam Chomsky, whose theory of Universal Grammar understood that only Homo sapiens can creatively build sentences from several words, employ recursive language, & construct explanations for novel occurrences.
d) The works of earlier scientists, who believed that apes could understand & respond to language, but could not speak because they had "no thoughts to express."

5) Which of these literal translations of the expression for "hangover" did I just totally make up? (Thanks to The New Yorker's Joan Acocella)
a) "Made of rubber" (Salvadoran)
b) "Hair ache" (French)
c) "Howling of kittens" (Polish)
d) "Smacked from behind" (Swedish)
e) "Ten O'Clock" (Russian)
f) "Carpenters in the forehead" (Danish)

6) And, which of these hangover cures did I just totally make up?
a) Ten push-ups followed by two fingers of beer, repeated as long as possible. (Germany)
b) Sake-soaked surgical mask (Japan)
c) A bowl of water with honey (Korea)
“Pickle juice or a shot of vodka or pickle juice with a shot of vodka.” (Russia)
d) A vinyl statue of St Vivian, patron saint of the hungover (available on
f) Burnt toast
“Two shots of vodka, then a cigarette, then another shot of vodka" (The Ukraine)

7) Finally, as a farewell (hopefully) to Hillary Clinton's campaign, guess which flopped YouTube video got the least views:

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