February 07, 2008

Mining for forgotten Jesus jokes

I was just sifting thru some of the local folklore archives on campus. There are file cabinets full of jokes. Here's two harmless Jesus ones:

Three wise men were crossing a field on their way to Jerusalem. One of them stepped on a rake in the field, which swings up & hits him in the face. The injured wise man, yells 'Jesus Christ!' Another one retorts quickly, 'Great name for the kid!'

-Andy H_ (Age 21, Kansas City, MO) told to Prof. Pete S_, 14 December, 1965

Another variant recorded was “That beats the hell out of Irving!” (San Francisco, 1969). However, the archivist weirdly feels the need to explain that, because the wise man couldn't have known the expletive “Jesus Christ” before Jesus was born, that “Irving” must have been an early Jewish curse. Not sure I agree with that scholarship.

Jesus & Moses sit together & are talking about the good old days. They decide after long debate, that they should do some of their old stuff again. So they go down to the water, & Moses flings open his arms to the sea. Sure enough, it parts right open. Jesus walks out on the water, but starts sinking slowly, & finally he has to swim back to the shore. He goes out, & says 'What happened? Why can't I do that anymore?' & Moses says, 'The last time you tried that you didn't have those holes in your feet.'

-Told by Laurie M____ (Student, Berkeley, CA) to D.G., 17 October, 1974

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